I Self-Loathe

I am sitting at home instead of with all of you because I am sad that if I had invited you instead, you wouldn't have come. So, instead of just being with you, I am just being with me. No Kitty, no roommate, no Death, no Poofer, no Mommy. No excuse, no work.

I am sitting at home instead of your home because you don't want me there.

I am sitting at home instead of not sitting at home because at the funeral, she said, "She sent her Surprise boxes to make it evident that we were in her thoughts."

I want it to be evident that I am in your thoughts.

It's not too much, I've decided, it's just me.

I can't ask you to change because it makes me feel worse.

youcanlaugh
aspinelesslaugh
wehopethatyourrulesandwisdomchokeyou
nowweareone
ineverlastingpeace