Lessons My Father Taught Me: 04

If you don't speak up, you won't be heard.

This has become something so innate in me, it's very hard for me to understand how it could be difficult for other people. As a small child, my dad was really always super fun and silly, but also fatherly. As I grew just a little older, old enough not to be scared, he would talk to me as he talks to others.

"I say it loudly the first time so that I don't have to say it a second time."

I get it, at least I know I get it now. He did say things loudly, but that does not always mean that he was screaming (though he often did). I don't know how not to express myself verbally. I don't know how not to complain (appropriately) when something is unjust, unequal, incorrect, falls short of expectations. This has extended into other facets of my life. I am completely unable to not speak up in almost every situation. This hinders my relationships with people who are not comfortable with personal sharing or listening.

I know that my father had intended this type of advice/lesson/rule so that I would never be left out of a game at school, so that I would be considered for positions at work, so that quality would not be compromised, et cetera, et cetera.

Something smells like burned coffee, and it smells so icky that I have to leave the house. So, you get the gist. I say things out loud, and I expect to be heard, so when I am not, it hurts my feelings and I have to make new friends or get another job.