Dear Crazy Teacher Colleagues,

Please get rid of that black sweatsuit you have with a teacher-themed border running up each leg and each sleeve. The apples and chalkboards are not cute.

Please eat a lunch that includes at least ONE of the following:

1. real sugar (instead of aspartame)
2. real salt (instead of imitation sodium products)
3. real fat (instead of oleo)
4. real vegetables (instead of over-processed mystery vegetable diet meals)
5. real fruit (instead of completely synthetic gel-like fruit-flavored concoction on which you spray imitation whipped cream)
6. real butter/oil (instead of spraying i can't believe it's not butter on your fake vegetables)

Please do not wear button down shirts, because it is unattractive when the buttons come off.

Please learn how to use your ruler. 10mm = 1 cm.

Please cut your claws -- I mean nails. You may be scaring the children.

Please stop coming to work with your headset on, talking from being on the highway in your car until you pick up your kids from the schoolyard.

Youz cray-dizzle.

That's all I have to say about that.

-- Miss Fran