oh man

I can't help but see how this is going to end, and I know that it has just started, but this is me knowing too much.

I've already had this discussion -- how I need to be with someone of passion. I know I tease Nikki a lot about her hate/love voice, but I really do appreciate how she takes a stand on things. She hates and loves. Feelings. Extreme feelings.

He is very nice. I am bad at finding the nice ones, but I have found one. He just seems a little lukewarm about me and everything else in the world. I want to see what it's like when he's really upset, really happy, really something. I won't be able to be nice and calm like I am right now for long... I am totally due for a freak out.

Last night would have been optimal for a freak out because I was telling the girls about something that had previously made me freak out. Completely even-toned. Not me. That just means that something is simmering and getting ready to boil over next time.

We'll see.