"jack" and little lil

once upon a time, little lil had a friend named "jack." "jack" was very smart, and very kind. he was not, however, physically attractive to little lil. she was not a small girl, and was not attracted to small boys. she liked boys who could huff, and puff, and blow a house down. so, "jack" and lil were just very good friends.

one time, when "jack" wasn't feeling well, lil went to visit him to cheer him up. the next day, "jack" said to lil,
"you did not do a good job of cheering me up."
lil was a bit disappointed, but she thought that maybe he was cranky from being on so many different drugs.

"jack's" birthday was coming up. "jack" was going to have a party with his family. he invited lil. then, the next day, he said,
"i think it would be better if you do not come to my family party, and instead i will see you the next day."
lil was a bit disappointed, but she thought that maybe his birthday party was something he only wanted to share with family, and lil was not in his family.

for "jack's" birthday, lil decided to do something very special and draw "jack" a picture of her most favorite place to sit -- the rose garden down the street. when she gave it to him, he said,
"oh. i hate rose gardens, and i do not like looking at pictures of them."
this upset lil so much, that she said in return,
"you are very smart, but you are not very kind. i am tired of you telling me how badly i am as your friend. let's not be friends any more."

and they never were friends again.

tangled surprise

why do i have to say everything out loud?
why don't you hear me say it before i say it?

you get to write off your life to being lazy
you cop out
you are pretentious
you hate pretentious
i need help
why won't you help me? do i not deserve it? do i not offer it in return?

did you forget me?
i need you
so i hate you
but i love you
and you forgot me

i showed this to you you thought it was uggo
now you show it to me i think you're uggo

there's dust on my guitar
and it's all your fault

update: snow day

as it turns out, i had a snow day.
hooray for me, now i can go to the bank and the library and watch gh this afternoon.

a side note: yesterday, i watched flava flav's show, "flava of love." new york's eyes are totally not visible beneath the layers of eye makeup surrounding them. also, why are these not-totally-unattractive women kissing flav and letting him touch their booties??? GROSSIE! well, he kicked off this one girl, smiley, and after she leftwhile toasting with the four remaining hos, he "poured some out" for her. some bubbly. straight up on his floor.

snow, snow, go away

i've noticed that i grind my teeth when i drive. i don't always notice while i am driving, but my jaw is sore when i get to work and when i get home.

this snowstorm was deceiving. i thought it was going to bring me a snow day, but alas, it has not. it has, however, brought me several snow and ice covered streets with icy-snow mounds in their centers which scrape against the bottom of my car. i parked rather precariously -- both on the corner of my block at at a fire hydrant. i am totally not allowed to park there, but the entire lot at my apartment was full, not that i could have conquered the snow mound in front of the driveway anyway.

i just feel totally drained. i had a crazy moment. where i freaked out in the car in the snow and just had to pull over.
i really hope i don't have work tomorrow because my car is totally stuck in the snow on the corner.

you know what's weird? i also thought about this in my crazy moment (i don't remember why, but i remember thinking about it):
how in my life, i have been told that i am beautiful just as many times as i have been told i am ugly. i have heard it in all different ways, from all different people -- children, peers, adults. it sucks. and this is why i cannot take positive comments on my physical appearance. for every compliment, i await the opposing insult.

i'm not sure what i would have done in the same situation. this lady's got balls.
however, i am confused with the explaination of this condition, which makes bones "soft and brittle" and/or "soft and easily breakable." can it really be both soft and brittle?

anyway, i had something more pressing to discuss.
my teacher keeps saying, "AH-mee-us" for the word, "ominous," when, in fact, the word is pronounced, "AH-min-us." it really bothers me, especially because he has said it almost every day this week since it's on the vocab list.
also, it bothers me that he couldn't think of a definition for "reminisced" since it wasn't in the classroom dictionaries (we're in third grade, people). ALSO, it irks me that his definitions don't always match the word in parts of speech or verb forms or times or in context in the book (such as defining oblivious as "forgetful," which i did not know was a definition, and i prefer "unaware"), The Mouse and the Motorcycle.

i want to be a teacher.

go eat a pizza, you fat lard

every
single
time
i walk into the teachers' lounge, i must endure conversations that seem to exclusively discuss weight loss, weight management, dieting, working out, physical endurance, and debilitating diseases.

why
can't
everyone
just
eat
normal
food?

lonely nights

i once thought that mister was the purrfect boyfriend.
he isn't really.

last night, while watching scrubs, i laughed out loud. it nearly echoed. i reached for my phone to connect me aurally to another human being (kitty was licking his foot or something). hobag didn't pick up.
damn! i can be a lonely girl.

i revisited this feeling tonight, while watching the biggest loser. my eyes fogged as i watched one couple complete their first triathalon together. then i asked myself, "who actually is the biggest loser?"

a side note: i now teach the cutest two little french girls (4 and 5 years old) how to swim on saturdays. they are so cute and frenchy. but one of them called me a piggy. i still love her. i totally love kiddies, but i also totally love not having one of my own (yet). i am so pooped at the end of the day, all i can handle is mister and myself.

grammar lesson

yesterday i poked a staple totally under my skin -- by accident, of course.
just an fyi.

i am totally against apostrophe-itis. i will admit, though, that i had to research the Chicaco Manual of Style to check on the status of names that end in "s," such as "Charles" or "Jesus." what i have found is that special rules apply to certain names, and in particular, names referring to people in the bible or people of equal stature. so:
Moses' staff
Jesus' fish
Achilles' heel
BUT NOT
James' homework (rather, James's homework, assuming that James is a nobody)

that's it for today.
take this with you people, you look less intelligent when you incorrectly use an apostrophe.