im in kindergarten

my friend uses her myspace account to find her long lost kindergarten friends or something.
that is kinda weird, but i want to copy her, but i dont really remember my kindergarten friends.
i guess i remember nursery school kiddies, like cassie mcclutchy and tishna rollo. i remember of course nora and amanda and i know there were boys there, and one of them always used to eat his boogers.
in kindergarten i remember in the christmas show at school, parts were assigned by height, assuming that the boys were taller than the girls and the boys were soldiers and the girls were sugar plum fairies and milkmaids and stuff. since i was like the 2nd tallest kiddie in the grade, i not only had to be a soldier, but also i had to stand next to brian gleeson.
anyway, merry xmas.

i am a self centered bitch, and i like it

id like to call this ode to yours truly, "all about me"

im loud and im crazy
i sit and im lazy

i scream and then i cry
sometimes i want to die

i say secrets out loud
cant miss me in a crowd

i never want to wait
i love and also hate

dont try to stick a pin in me!
i think thus far in life there is only one thing i've done that i really regret, but at the same time, i cant imagine how i could have made any other choice and still have been me. im sure no one could possibly know what that was.
as for what i say, i think the only thing i maybe regret saying (and here, only a little, because i didnt find it so offensive) was in 8th grade when i told stone that he looked like leonardo dicaprio in whats eating gilbert grape, and i still stand by that. so never mind, i dont regret it. maybe i wish i hadnt sung the "doug the bug" song so much, or so loudly. but hey, thats karma, cause i had my share of nicknames in fourth grade too.
so chill out and back off, i am who i am, and i like me.

martha o martha

today i was so focused on feeling shitty and being bitchy i missed martha!
yesterday was quite entertaining; she made bloody marys with equal parts tomato juice and polish vodka, and then told a story about how she and her mother went to poland and drank so much delicious vodka every night.

poem for the day:

you are a liar,
you lying liar.
and i know.
you smell.

i detest you
like i detest
the dead roaches
in my hallway.



the font choice for today is poo brown.

stalkie walkie

i am so creeped out by stalkery technology.
so is india.

but they arent shielding themselves from scary past, just private present.

soooo need my cat back

mr. kittyface is in vacay in north jerz with the fam, so i am left here in the illadelph with the ability to do many things that i could not do with my mister here.


exhibit a:




merry christmas DHB and john.

happy death day!

ryry found it odd that chubby chenski (who will hereforth be known as "dirty ho bag" or "DHB") and i had already started to plan her funeral party. well anyway, here are a few selections that will be on rotation:



will ferrell, "dust in the wind"
saves the day, "at your funeral"
lionel ritchie, "three times a lady" (though the garden state version would be preferable)
lil' bow wow, "take ya home"
blur, "girls and boys"
the shins, "caring is creepy"
papas fritas, "i believe in fate"
the doors, "the end"

i will be singing the first three, upon leeann's request.
do you have more to add?

bad girl

ive been a bad blogger, i apologize to all of my screaming fans.
the past couple of weeks have been busy with warding off the roaches down the hall with my red can of raid, vaccuuming up kitty litter, being sickie with no one to care for me, and being strangely obsessed with online window shopping and this song.

last night i had a dream that mr. craig got mad at me for answering my phone during guitar, although we werent playing guitar, but rather making a collage of construction paper and peppermint balls and crayons on my lawn (in nj). the kids were weirded out that we had a spat, and ms. smith just stepped in and kept them on task of finishing the collage.

im a weirdo, but i am such a good one.

insomnia mania

you may have perused my link on the right to disgruntled housewife, which i totally love though it isnt updated often, and have been reading for (gasp!) 6 years off and on (probably longer, not long after the days of sassy).

well, in my sleepless meanderings, i came across neato baby stuff for as soon as people who are cool that i know have some babies. what baby doesnt need some wooden bowling monkeys?

mullets galore. nuff said.

i want a planet rock dang cute or bow belt, please.

something for mister?

this makes me want to throw up... some crack rocks that i didnt swallow when the cops busted in.

i dunno. whatever. argh, its light out now.
better than home shopping network or jesustv, right?

boobies

ummm...
i am still procrastinating (sorta, i did just type up some stuff and email it to my boss), and i came across this pic that makes jen's boob look like a big cone.

speaking of boobs...
how could you not look at all of the pictures. also, please make sure to read all of sky's captions, as they are so very.

this one is my personal fave of scarlett's boobage.

logorrhea

i like this word in an icky way.
i think doodie.com should make a cartoon just for me.

i have a weird thing with doodie. poopy. poop.

pizza ice cream

i decided that this is reason enough to return to italy (or madrid, or several other euro locales).
who wouldnt love to eat pizza in a cone?
and please, check out the second event listed here, the one that took place in genoa in october.

also, please note: the vegetarian variety includes a topping called, "grilled marrow," which i believe to be some sort of translation mishap, as few would consider actual marrow as a vegetable.

i am in love with italy.
we are having a not-so-secret affair.
~que escandalo~